Just when I got my Mojo back after losing my mom, our beloved Rambo passed away.
My Mojo ran away again, and I hope to be back in sync soon.
I'm undergoing some new health issues on top of everything else, so I've not been looking at all your beautiful projects. Right now, it just seems like too much work just looking at a computer, so my TV has been my focus. Looking forward to any inspiration someone can offer, be it paper crafting or sewing, all ideas are welcome. That's my update for now.
Lori, so sorry to hear about your mom. I know you were her caregiver for many years. And Rambo... what a beauty! Such a loss, there, too. I'm very sad they are no longer with you. You are always such an inspiration. May I please share a little bit - hoping that it will inspire you? I kept thinking I would "recover" the severe losses of abilities and health these last 7 years. But I'm learning now to embrace the hardships with gratitude, which I know you do, as well. It's difficult, though, and there are times we must allow ourselves to grieve these losses, whether it is people, pets, "things", or health. It can be a lonely experience at times. But it also affords us a time of appreciation - a much deeper appreciation - for what others bring to this life, and the "little bit" we might possibly still offer others. Sometimes, individuals thought I was being difficult, arrogant, or selfish when actually, I had to distance myself because I could no longer "give" to them what they thought they wanted from me. I'm sure you have encountered similar individuals. We can only give, do and "be" what we are capable of at any given time. (And that ability may change from day to day) Our gift of self will change from minute to minute, especially when health conditions basically run a person's life. I've learned to be grateful for any small things I accomplish. It might take a month to finish a card, but then I'm grateful to have had the time to pray, contemplate, explore and think of the person for whom I'm making the card. It does not really matter what others think anymore. I'm so grateful for the souls who accept me (and my very little life). I was not very gracious to some people who depended on me (back when the stamina and abilities to do what they wanted me to do was leaving me dauntingly and vastly). But then, sometimes, it was my fault for not being more honest by simply stating, "I'm not complaining, but my health is not permitting me to do the things I wish I could do anymore." I am grateful for each new day, and for the tiniest of blessings each hour. Like you, the TV is a good friend, and how fortunate we are to have a variety of interesting programming. I also thrive on reading and listening to audio books. In the meantime, I am here for you - you are a dear treasure to the rest of us, even though you may not feel like it at times. What we FEEL LIKE is sometimes not an accurate barometer of what we contribute to other lives. Just smiling at a person, thanking them for their helpfulness, and being kindly, can ripple-effect to places we don't see. YOU are one of those dear people who gives. Not just 100%, but at times 500% because it costs you so much in endeavors, strength, and time. So we must not compare ourselves to our old selves, or to others, because we may actually be giving SACRIFICIALLY in ways that others will never comprehend. Lori, I'm sorry this is so long. I lost your email address somehow, so I'm leaving this message here to remind you of your PRECIOUSNESS, and that your MOJO and Creativity ARE still alive, but in new and different ways.
ReplyDeleteloving you,
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